Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Devoid of the will.

Day 1.
«Healthy Living - cool!». Another headline the next section. Negligent way, I lost a piece of news-sheets and scored a shoal. Thick white smoke quickly filled the small room.
Consciousness was subjected to a brutal attack heady dope. Usual shape of the walls of distorted, become blurred bright spots.
Flickering fingers firmly until the edges have shrunk filled glass. Transparent liquid burned his throat. By serene colorful hallucinations added dizziness and trembling in the limbs. I hardly managed to finish writing these lines.
Nothing. Grass habit is ...

Day 2.
The morning the next day I met fulgurating head pain and evert the stomach. In this state, go to the University of vanity.
All day I provalyalsya in bed, tormented by demonic pain. Several times the mind is sinking into troubled sleep. Remains of marijuana in his blood paint the horrific hallucinations.
But the worst was constantly rolling in the head with the idea - I want more.

Day 3.
I again missed classes. Motivation: nothing special in the calendar, you can relax. But again upivshis Narcotic smoke, I realized the true reason. I do not want to leave this room, I do not want to something to strive, to seek to make themselves better. I spit on girlfriends and friends, at school and work. I want to dive into the world of visions and dreams. Narcotic dreams ...

Day 4.
Grass over, vodka, too. I feel like something strange. Residual weak vision, and consciousness, only slightly odernuto few whitish mist.
I want to return. No, not in world realities. But green friends are no longer agents of the country illusions. They do not want to open the door to a universe devoid of issues and concerns.

Day 5.
Phoned the girl, asked where I was lost. Send it to hell. Why this foolish love, suffering and joy. I have my own world. In it, I king and god, fate vershitel and ruler of all things. Mighty, but lonely. Only. One among the silent desert of bright images, and euphoria.
I live in a fictional reality, but when the effect of heroin is taking place, before I encountered opostylevshie gray walls of a tiny apartment.
Oblivayas then, I reach for a new dose. For a new ticket to dreamland. Suppose I have one, but bespechen and free. Injection - and mutnovataya liquid spreads on the veins. The flow of blood has durmanyaschuyu poison directly to the brain. Consciousness mutneet, euphoria breaks minds.
I am not free. I depend on the damned white powder.

The last chapter ...
I completely lost record time. I do not know how many days have passed since the last entry.
I have sold almost all the valuable things to get tickets to the country of dreams. But the money ran out, and how to get funding for a new dose, I do not know.
I am greatly mistaken. My imaginary paradise turned to hell dreams. Hell breaks my body into pieces with sharp claws hot. I turn, frenzied convulsions do not rest. I know I still have short-lived. Coming soon to a small apartment with plain walls are found mutilated corpse brittle madman, escapee from the real world. Along with him will find this diary.
By bringing a little of the past, I will until the end of the narration. Read it carefully and never in my way. Better a thousand problems than cursed dur, deprives will be selected at life.
Fingers nemeyut, I hardly hold a pencil in their hands. My days are numbered. Soon consciousness muddy, and I will slowly die, enveloped in a hell of torment.
This is my last line. Remember: healthy living - healthy ...

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